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Analysis of the Haiku structure

bise en rafales -
une touffe de crin roux
dans les barbelés


Damien Gabriels, France
cco 2016-01-2

Commentaire.

La bise en rafales souligne quelque chose d'indéfinissable qui donne une atmosphère d'étrange à ce haïku.

Keywords

wind color orange barbed_wire absence horse

Structure of this haiku.

Schema and motifs :

Schéma :
  Motif : mmm094 -

Used techniques :

* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is structured around an unnamed element to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.

The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.

This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.

* detail - A detail is the key element of the haiku.
The strength of these haikus lies in a detail, either in its relationship to other elements or images, or in its own strength. It plays the active role and will be remembered.

We can recognize there the action of the archetype of the ActivePoint.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* yugen - Yugen.
Yugen is a concept of Japanese aesthetics that can be expressed as deep, mysterious, dark, troubled.... In criticism of Japanese poetry, he expresses a subtle depth of things that are vaguely evoked in the poem.

* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

* - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

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