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Analysis of the Haiku structure

bings o sawins
alang the watterside
...quait

piles of sawdust
along the riverside
...silence

des tas de sciure
au long des berges
... silence


John McDonald, Scotland (UK)
cco 2016-02-2

Commentaire.

Haïku d'atmosphère. Une simple énumération qui fonctionne bien par le choix des choses mises en relation. Tout le monde perçoit que la sciure étouffe les bruits. Que font ces tas au bord de l'eau ? Voila une question qui évite le rangement trop rapide du haïku en mémoire et lui donne de l'activité avant que nous ne passions au suivant, car cela nous pousse à y réfléchir. Un peu de mystère aussi. Il faut remarquer l'usage rare de la pause en début de L3. Elle permet de déconnecter légèrement "silence" de L2, ce qui a pour résultat d'accroître la vie de L3 en mémoire court-terme.

Keywords

silence

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* juxtaposition - Juxtaposition.
Use of images placed side by side to create an effect superior to that of each separate image. It is not a resonance effect as in similarity but rather a composition effect as in a painting or still life.

As the juxtaposed images have no or very few common semes, they compose a new global image in relation to its components.

* yugen - Yugen.
Yugen is a concept of Japanese aesthetics that can be expressed as deep, mysterious, dark, troubled.... In criticism of Japanese poetry, he expresses a subtle depth of things that are vaguely evoked in the poem.

* xxx - Undefined appeal.
Haïku having something undefinable that deserves further study.

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