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Analysis of the Haiku structure

drifting fog
an acquaintance
i'd rather not meet

trainée de brouillard
une connaissance
que j'aurais mieux fait de ne pas rencontrer


Polona Oblak, Slovenia
cco 2016-04-2

Commentaire.

Haïku à construction de tanka. La météo est utilisée en L1 pour planter le décor. Puis le reste est similaire à la seconde partie du tanka où l'auteur est plus personnel. Toujours efficace car plus condensé que le tanka.

Keywords

mist

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* psycho - Haiku with a psychological background.
Haiku can have a reading level that expresses an underlying psychological situation that is still active. It is not sure if this analysis is accurate. It can simply exist in the reader's mind. It is almost always absent from the author's intention, as can be seen from the author's request for information.

* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

* tanka - Tanka-like haiku.
Tanka is composed of two segments. The first, objective, describes a situation, the second, subjective, allows the author's feelings to speak. It is possible to use this structure in haiku.

The second segment can, however, be written without the author explicitly talking about himself but simply placing elements of his/her behaviour in it.

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