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Analysis of the Haiku structure

thunder clouds --
he tells me how many days
he's been sober

nuages d'orage --
il me dit depuis combien de jours
il a été sobre


Paul David Mena, USA
cco 2016-05-1

Commentaire.

Haïku météo. L'auteur fait passer une atmosphère au moyen d'une situation météo. On sent que le sevrage est lourd à supporter et que la personne n'en peut plus. Il va craquer, comme un nuage d'orage. A remarquer que le haïku n'acquiert un sens que dans le dernier mot. Une technique afin de le maintenir en mémoire court-terme le plus longtemps possible. Et donc ainsi de l'enrichir. En effet, un objet doit être compréhensible avant d'être mémorisé.

Keywords

cloud thunderstorm alcool

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* detail - A detail is the key element of the haiku.
The strength of these haikus lies in a detail, either in its relationship to other elements or images, or in its own strength. It plays the active role and will be remembered.

We can recognize there the action of the archetype of the ActivePoint.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Chute - The Fall,the Decline,to die,to grow old.

Tout ce qui est considéré comme une diminution de l'état, une perte de niveau, généralement suite au cours du Temps. Le déclin des êtres ou des choses.

Instanciations
- La maison abandonnée, la vieillesse, la maladie.
- L'approche de la mort, de la fin.
- La dégradation des lieux, des objets.
- Le déclin.
- Parfois toute situation sabi portant la trace des années sur un objet.

Type : Etat

Structure : Sujet + Verbe + Etat

Sujet := Toute chose
Verbe := être / devenir
Etat := abandonné / inutile / dégradé /diminué

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