tempslibres - free times haiku database

Analysis of the Haiku structure

cirque de banlieue -
des tâches de gras sur la veste
de monsieur loyal

Ben Coudert, France
cco 2016-05-1


Haïku à discours parallèles. Au niveau superficiel, la présence de taches. Au niveau profond (sous-jacent), la misère d'un petit cirque. Ici, pas de transition mais deux discours empilés. C'est d'ailleurs le discours sous-jacent (la misère) qui a du "guider" l'écriture du haïku (niveau superficiel). Avec le haïku, nous percevons des choses et nous en écrivons d'autres, souvent des détails car le peu d'espace rend impossible un discours explicite. Il ne reste qu'à noter le détail "qui tue"...



Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

All the author's haikus >>>