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Analysis of the Haiku structure

moon silence
the sound of a mouse
comes between us

silence sous la lune
le bruit d'une souris
se glisse entre nous


Sandi Pray, USA
cco 2016-09-1

Commentaire.

Opposition entre le Haut (Lune) et le Bas (souris qui vit cachée). Le grand (Lune) et le minuscule (bruit de la souris). C'est aussi l'image de quelque chose de minuscule en apparence, qui se glisse entre "nous". Juste une allusion, qui s'ouvre sur un mystère. Efficace.

Keywords

moon silence mouse

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* opposition - Images in opposition.
Images with a group of opposite senses. The images are in opposition to each other. However, the opposite semes are grouped into dialectics. A dialectic is composed of opposite semes, like the two sides, poles of the same grade.

For example:
- Top and Bottom.
- Inside and Outside
- Big and Tiny

* detail - A detail is the key element of the haiku.
The strength of these haikus lies in a detail, either in its relationship to other elements or images, or in its own strength. It plays the active role and will be remembered.

We can recognize there the action of the archetype of the ActivePoint.

* fin - Final element give the clue.
A detail at the end reveals the real meaning of haiku.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

Archetypes and dialectics

* D_HautBas - Up <> Down.

Une opposition entre ce qui est en Haut et ce qui est en Bas. Par exemple, le ciel et la terre, les étoiles et les lumières de la ville, les nuages et la mer...

* D_GrandPetit - Big <> Little.

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