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Analysis of the Haiku structure

becoming dusk
rooftop to treetop,
the echo of crows

le jour tombe
du haut du toit au haut de l'arbre,
l'écho des corbeaux


John Wisdom, USA
cco 2016-10-1

Commentaire.

A remarquer, le minétisme entre L2 et L3. Les cris passent comme l'écho, d'un sommet à l'autre. En fait, ce sont les corbeaux qui se déplacent et l'écho se déplace aussi. Construction rare et efficace. A remarquer que l'auteur ne cite pas explicitement les cris mais seulement leur écho.

Keywords

bird sound tree dusk

Structure of this haiku.

Schema and motifs :

Schéma :
  Motif : mmm057 -

Used techniques :

* alliteration - Alliteration.
Alliteration: effect of sonorities produced by the repetition of consonants to mimic a situation. Alliteration: consonant effect - Assonance: vowel effect.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* S1 - Folded sentence.
Haiku in one folded sentence.

* zoom - Zoom of the discourse.
The three segments of haiku are organized with images that are closer and closer as a zoom effect.

* culturel - Use of external cultural reference.
The haiku is based on an external cultural element, well known by the reader. There is a sharing of an environment (place, situation...) or cultural element (music, painting...) that will seek memories or sensations in the memory and experience of the reader. This device saves a lot of space, nothing else is needed, the effect is achieved by the reader's contribution.

* progression - Advance.
Structure with a spatial or time oriented advance.

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