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Analysis of the Haiku structure

family dispute
lily dust peppers
the table

dispute familiale
la poussière des lys crible
la table


Sondra Byrnes, USA
cco 2016-11-2

Commentaire.

Une très grande efficacité du discours. On perçoit bien l'atmosphère. L'auteure a utilisé un détail pour représenter la situation. Similitude aussi entre le pollen tombé et de la peine. Il y a aussi une difficulté de traduction : "peppers" se traduit par "crible" mais on perd la nuance de "poivre", associé en anglais.

Keywords

argument family flower

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* detail - A detail is the key element of the haiku.
The strength of these haikus lies in a detail, either in its relationship to other elements or images, or in its own strength. It plays the active role and will be remembered.

We can recognize there the action of the archetype of the ActivePoint.

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