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Analysis of the Haiku structure

it the bus-stap:
a pish-the-bed seed baw
bides fir a souch

at the bus-stop:
a dandelion seed ball
waits for a breeze


John McDonald, Scotland (UK)
cco 2017-05-1

Commentaire.

Haïku basé sur le thème de l'attente. Elle est matérialisée par une action qui semble imminente mais en devenir seulent. Il suffirait d'un peu de vent ou du passage du bus. Cette composition est spéciale car elle recèle une action mais juste avant. Elle est statique mais au bord du dynamique. Une technique à méditer.

Keywords

flower dandelion

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* avant - Just before.
We're just before something happens. The haiku notes the moment before the situation changes from one state to another. Like, for example, just before the rain.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

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