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Analysis of the Haiku structure

unripe pomegranates --
all that's left
between us

des grenades non mûres --
tout ce qui reste
entre nous


Paul David Mena, USA
cco 2017-11-2

Commentaire.

Haïku à fond psychologique. Il s'agit en fait d'un discours à plusieurs niveaux. Il fonctionne comme un haïku météo, les fruits assurant la référence à l'atmosphère du discours. Deux discours de surface disjoints recouvre une unicité de discours profond. C'est une marque caractéristique de l'écriture de l'auteur.

Keywords

fruit couple

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* psycho - Haiku with a psychological background.
Haiku can have a reading level that expresses an underlying psychological situation that is still active. It is not sure if this analysis is accurate. It can simply exist in the reader's mind. It is almost always absent from the author's intention, as can be seen from the author's request for information.

* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* trans_S - Transition in the surface discourse.
Surface transition.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

All the author's haikus >>>