tempslibres - free times haiku database

Analysis of the Haiku structure

dolg seznam
stranskih učinkov...
zimski dèž

a long list
of side effects...
winter rain

une longue liste
d'effets secondaires ...
pluie d'hiver


Polona Oblak, Slovenia
cco 2017-11-2

Commentaire.

Haïku météo avec deux sujets factuels disjoints en surface et une continuïté du discours profond car L3 apporte le contexte qui crée l'atmosphère. La réussité de ce haïku tient au fait que l'auteure pose simplement les faits et laisse le lecteur reconstituer le discours complet absent. La résonnance n'en est que plus forte en nous.

Keywords

illness medication cold winter

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

* S21 - Caesura between L2 and L3.
Caesura between L2 and L3.

* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

* juxtaposition - Juxtaposition.
Use of images placed side by side to create an effect superior to that of each separate image. It is not a resonance effect as in similarity but rather a composition effect as in a painting or still life.

As the juxtaposed images have no or very few common semes, they compose a new global image in relation to its components.

* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is structured around an unnamed element to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.

The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.

This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.

All the author's haikus >>>