Analysis of the Haiku structure
sortant du docteur
plus lourdes et plus froides
les gouttes de pluie
Virginie Colpart, France
Haïku météo à structure feuilletée avec deux discours dont seul celui de surface, factuel, est visible. Le discours profond est déductible par le lecteur même s'il n'est pas explicitement exprimé. La force de ce haïku réside aussi pour moi dans son organisation. Le contexte réel ne se déduit qu'à la fin qui porte les connotations de froid, d'hostilité, de phénomène subit. Ce haïku nous prend par le caractère physique des sensations. Le lecteur reconstruit alors le discours à partir du début.
illness cold winter rain
Structure of this haiku.
Used techniques :
* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is structured around an unnamed element to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.
The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.
This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.
* S1 - Folded sentence.
Haiku in one folded sentence.
* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.
This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.
The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.
* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).
The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.
A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.
Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.
* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.
These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.
We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.
The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator
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