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Analysis of the Haiku structure

cold night--
snowflakes settle
on coal cars

nuit froide --
les flocons de neige se déposent
sur les wagons de charbon


Earl Keener, USA
cco 2018-01-2

Commentaire.

La force de ce haïku réside ans les oppositions de couleurs, de lourdeurs, de dureté, de chaleur entre les flocons et les morceaux de charbon. Le charbon contient l'idée de chaleur potentielle. On peut aussi y ajouter l'opposition d'âge entre l'éphémère du flocon et l'immensité de celle du charbon. Il y a aussi, pour moi, l'image un peu mystérieuse de ce train noir dans la blancheur du paysage.

Keywords

snow color black white

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* opposition - Images in opposition.
Images with a group of opposite senses. The images are in opposition to each other. However, the opposite semes are grouped into dialectics. A dialectic is composed of opposite semes, like the two sides, poles of the same grade.

For example:
- Top and Bottom.
- Inside and Outside
- Big and Tiny

* yugen - Yugen.
Yugen is a concept of Japanese aesthetics that can be expressed as deep, mysterious, dark, troubled.... In criticism of Japanese poetry, he expresses a subtle depth of things that are vaguely evoked in the poem.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

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