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Analysis of the Haiku structure

crachin d'hiver ~
le crissement métallique
des outils qu'on gratte

Vincent Hoarau, France
cco 2018-01-2


Voici un haïku à la juxtaposition peu évidente. N’ayant apparemment aucun trait sémantique commun, il semble qu’il s’agisse de deux fragments d’un discours absent pour cause de place. L’auteur a juste posé deux éléments et a laissé le lecteur libre d’imaginer la suite. On peut cependant noter l’opposition entre les deux éléments sur base du bruit. Ce haïku note un temps lent. Le jardinier prépare ses outils pour le printemps. C’est aussi une bulle de Futur dans le Présent. Haïku plus complexe qu’il n’y paraît.


drizzle sound winter

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is structured around an unnamed element to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.

The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.

This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.

* multisens - Synestesia - Multi-senses perception.
Haïkus using effects on several senses (hearing, touch, taste, vision, smell). They play on the phenomenon of resonance between feelings (Synesthesia). This device usually produces strong haikus because they are physical.

* yugen - Yugen.
Yugen is a concept of Japanese aesthetics that can be expressed as deep, mysterious, dark, troubled.... In criticism of Japanese poetry, he expresses a subtle depth of things that are vaguely evoked in the poem.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

All the author's haikus >>>