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Analysis of the Haiku structure

murmurs in her sleep--
the moon slips behind
the clouds

murmures dans son sommeil
la lune glisse derrière
les nuages


Earl Keener, USA
cco 2018-02-1

Commentaire.

C’est toujours inquiétant quand la Lune se voile et nous laisse dans la Nuit. Cet élément a été utilisé par l’auteur dans un haïku à structure de tanka (deux éléments : personnel et naturel en relation de connotations). Il faut se souvenir que la Lune est aussi dans la poésie un élément de liaison entre les amants. Le plus important pour moi dans ce haïku est qu’il marque une transition soudaine entre deux états. Un trait marquant de certains haïkus.

Keywords

night sound couple moon

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* soudain - Sudden modification.
The haiku describes a sudden, sometimes unexpected event. He grabs something that just happened. It appears as a transition between two states: before and after.

* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

* yugen - Yugen.
Yugen is a concept of Japanese aesthetics that can be expressed as deep, mysterious, dark, troubled.... In criticism of Japanese poetry, he expresses a subtle depth of things that are vaguely evoked in the poem.

* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

* tanka - Tanka-like haiku.
Tanka is composed of two segments. The first, objective, describes a situation, the second, subjective, allows the author's feelings to speak. It is possible to use this structure in haiku.

The second segment can, however, be written without the author explicitly talking about himself but simply placing elements of his/her behaviour in it.

* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is structured around an unnamed element to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.

The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.

This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.

* archetype - Active archetypes.
Active presence of archetypes that have determined relationships between images. These archetypes are structures that have aggregated seeds (meanings) and are patterns inherited from the collective unconscious. These are the models that we use to organize our perception of the World.

* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_ChoseActiveEnfouie - Hidden active things

Toute chose non nommée enfouie dans des profondeurs, qui serait active et produirait des effets perceptibles. Concept de l'Inconscient.
A différencier de la Chose Cachée, qui n'a pas d'activité au niveau profond.

* T_FuturPresent - Bubble of Future.

All the author's haikus >>>