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Analysis of the Haiku structure

matinée sans fin -
je ressasse l'amertume
de mon café noir


Damien Gabriels, France
cco 2018-05-2

Commentaire.

Une version originale de haïku météo. La relation se fait entre l'amertume du café et la longueur du temps au lieu d'un contexte météorologique externe. A remarquer l'ellipse du discours feuilleté. Il y a une signfication profonde qui n'apparait pas explicitement. Haïku d'atmosphère même si l'auteur donne son avis en L1.

Keywords

coffee bitter taste

Structure of this haiku.

Schema and motifs :

Schéma :
  Motif : mmm054 -

Used techniques :

* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

Archetypes and dialectics

* T_Lent - Slow Time.

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