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Analysis of the Haiku structure

sous la frondaison
des étoiles de sureau
— lune gibbeuse

Karyn Louryan , Belgique
cco 2018-05-2


Une belle opposition Haut versus bas avec un double sens du mot 'étoiles'. Ce haïku est remarquable car il semble inverser l'ordre céleste des choses en mettant la Lune sous l'arbre et en donnant à l'arbre une dimension cosmique. A remarquer la pause en début de L3, assez rare. Au delà, je retiens le parfum des fleurs de sureaux, délicat et trouble qui s'accorde avec la couleur de la lune. Haïku multisensoriel dans un silence intense.


tree flower star moon

Structure of this haiku.

Schema and motifs :

Schéma :
  Motif : mmm091 -

Used techniques :

* S21 - Caesura between L2 and L3.
Caesura between L2 and L3.

* T3 - Stalling at the beginning of L3.
Stalling at the beginning of L3.

* opposition - Images in opposition.
Images with a group of opposite senses. The images are in opposition to each other. However, the opposite semes are grouped into dialectics. A dialectic is composed of opposite semes, like the two sides, poles of the same grade.

For example:
- Top and Bottom.
- Inside and Outside
- Big and Tiny

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* archetype - Active archetypes.
Active presence of archetypes that have determined relationships between images. These archetypes are structures that have aggregated seeds (meanings) and are patterns inherited from the collective unconscious. These are the models that we use to organize our perception of the World.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Lumiere - The Light.

La Lumière.
A mettre en relation avec la Lumière dans la Nuit.

* D_HautBas - Up <> Down.

Une opposition entre ce qui est en Haut et ce qui est en Bas. Par exemple, le ciel et la terre, les étoiles et les lumières de la ville, les nuages et la mer...

* D_ClairSombre - Light <> Darkness.

All the author's haikus >>>