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Analysis of the Haiku structure

unknotting
the phone cord
mother’s day

démêlant
le fil du téléphone
fête des mères


Debbi Antebi, UK
cco 2018-06-1

Commentaire.

Haïku efficace. Un discours très court, minimaliste mais au contenu non-dit très lourd. Une merveille d'ellipse. A remarquer qu'il ne produit son effet qu'à l'extrême fin. Ce n'est pas à proprement parlé un haïku psychologique mais il s'en rapproche. Il y a de la matière dans ce discours. Il faut en retenir que l'effet est produit par la juxtaposition des éléments essentiels et minimaux, juste nécessaires et laisser faire le lecteur. La puissance de ce type d'écriture est dans la retenue de l'auteure et dans le rôle actif qu'elle donne aux lecteurs.

Keywords

phone family mother

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is structured around an unnamed element to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.

The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.

This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.

* ellipse - Ellipsis.
Ellipsis: Only the minimum is said but the whole situation can be reconstruct by the reader.
This is also the case when only a part of the discourse is present. The remaining part can be guessed by the reader.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* fin - Final element give the clue.
A detail at the end reveals the real meaning of haiku.

All the author's haikus >>>