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Analysis of the Haiku structure

berge de l'Escaut -
un bouquet de fleurs noué
au bout d'un ponton


Damien Gabriels, France
cco 2018-06-1

Commentaire.

Ce haïku a un charme particulier, indéfinissable. Simple juxtaposition d'éléments, il crée une atmosphère particulière, assez lourde où l'archétype de la Mort plane (sur les eaux),.Une image lourde de sèmes et très ancienne. On est ici au bout. Au bout de la Vie, matérialisé par le bout du ponton, la limite que nous ne pouvons dépasser. Là, quelqu'un a posé un peu de Vie (fleurs) au bord de l'eau glauque. Le haïku efficace s'ecrit ainsi, en croisant une situation, notre inconscient en remarque les éléments sous-jacents et la sélectionne. A l'oeil ouvert de ne pas la laisser échapper !

Keywords

river flower death

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* yugen - Yugen.
Yugen is a concept of Japanese aesthetics that can be expressed as deep, mysterious, dark, troubled.... In criticism of Japanese poetry, he expresses a subtle depth of things that are vaguely evoked in the poem.

* xxx - Undefined appeal.
Haïku having something undefinable that deserves further study.

* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is structured around an unnamed element to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.

The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.

This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Mort - Death.

Contexte de mort (deuil, décès, cimetière...) ou pulsion de mort (guerre, violence...).

* A_PlaneEau - Something hovering over the Water.

* A_Frontiere - The Frontier, the Boundary between two domains.

* A_PointActif - Active point (color, sound, ...)

Variante de la Couleur. Ici, c'est un point, généralement de couleur qui a le rôle important. En fait, cet archétype illustre le fait que c'est l'Inconscient qui analyse les images de notre regard. C'est lui qui repère ces points et y dirige notre regard.

* T_Immobile - Frozen Time.

* T_PassePresent - Bubble of Past.

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