Analysis of the Haiku structure
parking de l'hôpital -
une bouffée de roses
Damien Gabriels, France
Haïku d'atmosphère. Qui n'a pas connu cet instant, juste avant d'entrer dans l'espace clos et souvent désagréable de l'hôpital ? Le discours est double avec un niveau superficiel (l'odeur), et profond (situation). Tous deux parallèles. A noter au niveau superficiel, les oppositions Interieur versus Extérieur et celle des odeurs agréable versus désagréable.
scent roses flower hospital
Structure of this haiku.
Used techniques :
* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.
This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.
The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.
* opposition - Images in opposition.
Images with a group of opposite senses. The images are in opposition to each other. However, the opposite semes are grouped into dialectics. A dialectic is composed of opposite semes, like the two sides, poles of the same grade.
- Top and Bottom.
- Inside and Outside
- Big and Tiny
* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).
* avant - Just before.
We're just before something happens. The haiku notes the moment before the situation changes from one state to another. Like, for example, just before the rain.
* fin - Final element give the clue.
A detail at the end reveals the real meaning of haiku.
* juxtaposition - Juxtaposition.
Use of images placed side by side to create an effect superior to that of each separate image. It is not a resonance effect as in similarity but rather a composition effect as in a painting or still life.
As the juxtaposed images have no or very few common semes, they compose a new global image in relation to its components.
* trans_S - Transition in the surface discourse.
* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.
These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.
We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.
The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator
Archetypes and dialectics
* T_FuturPresent - Bubble of Future.
* T_Transition - Transition in Time between two states.
- Le moment où la situation passe d'un état à un autre ou va le faire.
- C'est aussi le moment "juste avant". (A vérifier car il faut le différencier du T_FuturPresent) Ici, c'est un futur certain et immédiat (comme en chinois).
All the author's haikus >>>