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Analysis of the Haiku structure

retirement home —
the same pot of coffee
sitting all day

(maison de retraite —
le même pot de café
posé toute la journée)

Stanford M. Forrester, USA
cco 2018-06-2


Haïku d'immobilité où le Temps est figé, représenté par le pot de café. J'ai péféré une traduction 'littérale' en L3 car elle rend l'image des personnes casées dans leur fauteuil toute la journée.


old_age retirement_home coffee humour

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

* ellipse - Ellipsis.
Ellipsis: Only the minimum is said but the whole situation can be reconstruct by the reader.
This is also the case when only a part of the discourse is present. The remaining part can be guessed by the reader.

* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* fin - Final element give the clue.
A detail at the end reveals the real meaning of haiku.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Temps - Time.

* T_Immobile - Frozen Time.

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