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Analysis of the Haiku structure

death anniversary—
a curl of incense smoke
stuck on the ceiling

anniversaire de décès—
une volute de fumée d'encens
contre le plafond


Nicholas David Klacsanzky , Ukraine
cco 2018-07-2

Commentaire.

Discours indirect. Il y a parallélisme entre le discours de surface et le discours profond. Une peine en non-dit. Efficace. A noter l'opposition sémantique entre la lourdeur de la peine et la légèreté de la fumée.

Keywords

death candle smoke

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

* psycho - Haiku with a psychological background.
Haiku can have a reading level that expresses an underlying psychological situation that is still active. It is not sure if this analysis is accurate. It can simply exist in the reader's mind. It is almost always absent from the author's intention, as can be seen from the author's request for information.

* concordance - Accordance between the surface and deep discourses
Accordance between superfical and deep discourses. Two parallel discourses.

* opposition - Images in opposition.
Images with a group of opposite senses. The images are in opposition to each other. However, the opposite semes are grouped into dialectics. A dialectic is composed of opposite semes, like the two sides, poles of the same grade.

For example:
- Top and Bottom.
- Inside and Outside
- Big and Tiny

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* archetype - Active archetypes.
Active presence of archetypes that have determined relationships between images. These archetypes are structures that have aggregated seeds (meanings) and are patterns inherited from the collective unconscious. These are the models that we use to organize our perception of the World.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Mort - Death.

Contexte de mort (deuil, décès, cimetière...) ou pulsion de mort (guerre, violence...).

* A_Fragilité - Fragility, tenuousness.

Quelque chose de fragile dans un univers "hostile". Qui emporte en lui quelque chose.

David, le petit être.

* T_Immobile - Frozen Time.

* T_PassePresent - Bubble of Past.

All the author's haikus >>>