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Analysis of the Haiku structure

I watch someone
watch someone else
the promise of rain

J'observe quelqu'un
qui observe quelqu'un d'autre
la promesse de la pluie


Nicholas David Klacsanzky , Ukraine
cco 2018-07-2

Commentaire.

Haïku étrange basé sur le schéma de l'observation de deux personnes. Il ne s'agit pas d'une observation réciproque mais séquentielle. Il y a là comme une ouverture de l'espace et un traveling. Mais ce haïku me semble tirer sa force de la fin, qui exprime une attente majeure.

Keywords

rain drought

Structure of this haiku.

Schema and motifs :

Schéma :
  Motif : mmm007 -

Used techniques :

* zoom - Zoom of the discourse.
The three segments of haiku are organized with images that are closer and closer as a zoom effect.

* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

* xxx - Undefined appeal.
Haïku having something undefinable that deserves further study.

* yugen - Yugen.
Yugen is a concept of Japanese aesthetics that can be expressed as deep, mysterious, dark, troubled.... In criticism of Japanese poetry, he expresses a subtle depth of things that are vaguely evoked in the poem.

* S21 - Caesura between L2 and L3.
Caesura between L2 and L3.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Rencontre - The Unexpected Encounter.

La rencontre fortuite entre deux êtres avec un moment où quelque chose se passe entre eux.

* T_FuturPresent - Bubble of Future.

All the author's haikus >>>