tempslibres - free times haiku database

Analysis of the Haiku structure

quai glacial
plus que nous à émettre
de la vapeur


Jean-Paul Gallmann, France
cco 2018-11-2

Commentaire.

Voila ce que j'appelle un haïku 'court-metrage'. Juste assez de détails pour construire la scène, juste assez aussi pour que le lecteur puisse construire sa version du discours. Car, de fait, nous ne pouvons pas comprendre la situation, donc, nous la faisons nôtre et la reconstruisant. Ce haïku est l'étincelle qui démarre le film. Du point de vue technique, on remarque l'opposition de chaleur, entre L1 et L3, et une allusion nostalgique à la traction à vapeur, une merveilleuse machine à rêver. Je pense qu'il faut bien observer le fonctionnement de ce discours. Il nous apprend beucoup sur les racines du discours efficace.

Keywords

station train humour cold

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

* allusion - Allusion to something known by the reader.
This technique refers to something that is supposed to be known to the reader. This type of haiku only works for the reader who understands the allusion. It is often a cultural element or an environment shared between the author and the reader. The reference adds a note of complicity in the speech.

ex: Liberty Market: a chain of stores in the USA.

It can also be illustrated in jargon (specialized languages shared by a community).

* courtmetrage - Short clip.
A haiku that could be a video clip. The initial sequence of a short film.

* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

Archetypes and dialectics

* T_Immobile - Frozen Time.

All the author's haikus >>>