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Analysis of the Haiku structure

my mother cries
on the other end of the phone
hard rain

ma mère pleure
à l'autre bout du fil
pluie battante


Lynne Rees, UK
cco 2018-12-1

Commentaire.

Haïku dur. La situation est abordée par un détail en fin de L2. Le contexte est précisé par la référence à la météo. Pas besoin d'en dire plus, le discours se suffit à lui-même. Le lecteur reconstruira la situation avec son vécu personnel. La pluie battante peut indiquer le fait que la situation ne peut plus être contrôlée.

Keywords

mother family voice rain phone

Structure of this haiku.

Schema and motifs :

Schéma :
  Motif : mmm037 -

Used techniques :

* dur -

* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

* archetype - Active archetypes.
Active presence of archetypes that have determined relationships between images. These archetypes are structures that have aggregated seeds (meanings) and are patterns inherited from the collective unconscious. These are the models that we use to organize our perception of the World.

* S21 - Caesura between L2 and L3.
Caesura between L2 and L3.

* - Caesura between L2 and L3.
Caesura between L2 and L3.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Chute - The Fall,the Decline,to die,to grow old.

Tout ce qui est considéré comme une diminution de l'état, une perte de niveau, généralement suite au cours du Temps. Le déclin des êtres ou des choses.

Instanciations
- La maison abandonnée, la vieillesse, la maladie.
- L'approche de la mort, de la fin.
- La dégradation des lieux, des objets.
- Le déclin.
- Parfois toute situation sabi portant la trace des années sur un objet.

Type : Etat

Structure : Sujet + Verbe + Etat

Sujet := Toute chose
Verbe := être / devenir
Etat := abandonné / inutile / dégradé /diminué

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