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Analysis of the Haiku structure

shell-shocked soldier
the therapist
still so young

(soldat survivant d'un bombardement
le thérapeute
encore si jeune)


Eva Limbach, Germany
cco 2018-12-1

Commentaire.

Juste poser les éléments et laisser libre le lecteur de se construire une version. On peut aussi y trouver un discours profond montrant le vieillissement brutal du soldat sous le choc par rapport au thérapeute, comme semble le signaler L3. Un effet complet à dire et qui est, ici, juste suggéré. Haïku engagé, efficace. Réussi.

Keywords

war illness

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is structured around an unnamed element to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.

The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.

This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* fin - Final element give the clue.
A detail at the end reveals the real meaning of haiku.

* - Final element give the clue.
A detail at the end reveals the real meaning of haiku.

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