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Analysis of the Haiku structure

black friday
two crows tear
at a plastic bag

black friday
deux corneilles s'arrachent
un sac de plastique


Jennifer Hambrick, USA
cco 2018-12-1

Commentaire.

'carrefour haïku, 2018-11-24' : La traduction automatique testée sur ce haïku donne ce résultat amusant en mentionnant le nom d'une chaine d'hypermarchés. Je trouve ce haïku intéressant car il s'agit à nouveau d'un haïku lourd de sens (une critique des dérives de la sur-consommation) mais qui ne les explicite pas par un 'message' ruinant le discours. Montrer ce que l'on veut dire par un détail ne contenant pas le message, mettre en évidence un travers par le jeu d'un détail, voilà comment on écrit un haïku efficace.

Keywords

bird humour plastic

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

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