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Analysis of the Haiku structure

ouverture de la chasse
la pesanteur du brouillard
sur mes épaules


Danièle Georgelin, France
cco 2019-02-2

Commentaire.

Haïku basé sur le non-dit mais le partage de notions entre l'auteure et le lecteur. En principe, je ne prends pas de haïku avec des éléments abstraits. En L2, le brouillard ne pèse pas réellement. Cependant, dans ce cas-ci, j'ai trouvé l'image forte au point de "racheter" cet écart. Le non-dit est ici très fort. Le discours reste au niveau superficiel mais avec une ellipse qui lui donne sa force.

Keywords

hunting mist cold

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

* poesie - Use of poetical devices.
Use of poetical devices.

* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

* archetype - Active archetypes.
Active presence of archetypes that have determined relationships between images. These archetypes are structures that have aggregated seeds (meanings) and are patterns inherited from the collective unconscious. These are the models that we use to organize our perception of the World.

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* concordance - Accordance between the surface and deep discourses
Accordance between superfical and deep discourses. Two parallel discourses.

* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Mort - Death.

Contexte de mort (deuil, décès, cimetière...) ou pulsion de mort (guerre, violence...).

* A_Menace - The Threat.

Le sentiment qu'il y a une menace latente. Quelque chose d'indéfinissable.

* T_Lent - Slow Time.

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