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Analysis of the Haiku structure

diagnosis day
coffee rings left
on the counter

jour du diagnostic
les ronds de café laissés
sur le comptoir


Ben Moeller-Gaa, USA
cco 2019-05-1

Commentaire.

Haïku à discours elliptique. L'essentiel n'est pas dit mais deviné (fourni) par le lecteur. Une technique très efficace d'économie de place. Elle est aussi très adaptée à la situation. Il y a des choses qu'on évite de nommer. A noter la similitude possible entre les taches sombres et d'autres peut-être redoutées.

Keywords

illness coffee stain

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :

* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku.
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator

* ellipse - Ellipsis.
Ellipsis: Only the minimum is said but the whole situation can be reconstruct by the reader.
This is also the case when only a part of the discourse is present. The remaining part can be guessed by the reader.

* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_Chute - The Fall,the Decline,to die,to grow old.

Tout ce qui est considéré comme une diminution de l'état, une perte de niveau, généralement suite au cours du Temps. Le déclin des êtres ou des choses.

Instanciations
- La maison abandonnée, la vieillesse, la maladie.
- L'approche de la mort, de la fin.
- La dégradation des lieux, des objets.
- Le déclin.
- Parfois toute situation sabi portant la trace des années sur un objet.

Type : Etat

Structure : Sujet + Verbe + Etat

Sujet := Toute chose
Verbe := être / devenir
Etat := abandonné / inutile / dégradé /diminué

* T_Immobile - Frozen Time.

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