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Analysis of the Haiku structure

storm watch—
scars i’ve learned
to love

avis de tempête —
des cicatrices que j'ai appris
à aimer


Sondra Byrnes, USA
cco 2016-06-1

Commentaire.

Autre variante de similitude entre l'orage et les cicatrices. Le haïku est très ouvert, un fragment de vie. Le lecteur n'en sait pas plus. Il va donc imaginer. Un technique d'appropriation efficace.

Keywords

storm love couple scar

Structure of this haiku.

Schema and motifs :

Schéma : sss029 Something reminds us of the Past.
  Motif : mmm013 - Something remains.

Used techniques :


* simili - Similitudes.
Use of images with common semes. The sharing of common semes (qualities, characteristics) makes images reinforce each other. There is resonance because the mind makes the relationship between the two images.

A cup of tea and a lake share the fact that they are an expanse of liquid surrounded by a rim. We can "see" the image of one in the other.

Effects: liadyn - Binding with dynamics effects


At the level: 2-prof - Deep level
Deep and non explicit structures, active objects of the unconscious.

Description level: 5-strp - Deep structure (schemas, patterns, cultural, associations, similarities)


* meteo - Meteo used to create an atmosphere.
Use in a haiku segment of a reference to the weather (weather conditions) that provides more than just the mention of the weather as a background. The reference refers to a state of weather that has physical (cold rain, sudden hail, frost,...) or psychological (overcast sky, storm warning, sultry afternoon...) effects. These effects are mainly felt through the skin (contact, temperature,...); which connects the author/reader to the World (his direct environment).

The mentioned weather and its effects share a set of semes (brutality, unpredictability, "cold", psychologically oppressive climate,...) with the situation experienced by the author.

A sudden and unpleasant change of situation shares semes (brutality, unpredictability, impact) with a sudden storm, hail, cold rain. A hard time to live, a disappointment, with a cold rain. An overcast weather before the rain shares with a moment when we fear the occurrence of events that we fear.

Although the meteo is often used as a marker (kigo - word of season), it sometimes brings more than just the place in the season or the context of the moment.

Effects: liasen - Binding with sensorial feelings.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 3-suj - Subject, content


* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

Effects: liavec - Binding to the reader's experience.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 3-aut - Author's role


* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku. (foliated)
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Surface : x---------------------------x
======
Depth: x----------------------------x
(x------------------------x )

- Two parallel speeches with sharing semes.
- Horizontal caesura/break (=)
- The author says something on the superficial level and something else on the deep level. These two discourses are linked by a sharing of semes.
possibly several different deep discourses
- Deep discourse: parallel - structural element: concordance
- Deep discourse: independent - structural element: discordance
- structural element: foliated
- the "foliated" structural element is always an explicit construction of the author.
- the foliated often leads to the concordance between surface and deep discourse. The deep discourse is then another aspect of the surface discourse.

Effects: reinter - Reworking at the end.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 2-trait - Style,subject handling

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