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Analysis of the Haiku structure

بئرٌ مشتركةٌ -
أنا وجارتي نتقاسمُ
الصَّدَى

Un puits commun.
Ma voisine et moi, on partage.
L'écho.


Meryem Lahlou, Maroc
cco 2018-02-2

Commentaire.

Magique. Ce haïku est construit sur un élément non présent, le bruit d'une chute, du seau dans l'eau. C'est comme si on avait découpé une ligne, un moment du temps et que l'on aurait recollé les morceaux. Une technique utilisée au cinema lorsque l'on suit un acteur passant d'une mièce à l'autre par une porte. Le discours est dynamique mais on en connait que le début et la fin. La partie escamotée lui donne toute sa résonnance; au propre comme au figuré. Il y a aussi quelque chose d'étonnant à parler de l'écho sans parler du bruit. Il joue ici le rôle de l'ombre d'un objet. A remarquer aussi cette impression que le puits parle. Une voix venant des profondeurs qui ajoute une peu de mystère à ce discours qui porte aussi la fraîcheur de l'eau.

Keywords

well sound neighbor humour

Structure of this haiku.

Schema and motifs :

Schéma : sss031 The call, the scream. Something's draw attention without being visible.
  Motif : mmm057 - Sounds of something not visible.

Used techniques :


* archetype - Active archetypes.
Active presence of archetypes that have determined relationships between images. Archetypes are structures that have aggregated semes (meanings) and are patterns inherited from the collective unconscious. These are the models that we use to organize our perception of the World.

e.g. Night, Fire, Death, Fall, Frontier...

Night: gloomy, dark, cold, threatening (lack of visibility of potential dangers), dangerous (legacy of ancient times), loss of Light, linked to the Unconscious through dreams and nightmares, silent world, mysterious, unknown, populated by fantastical beings.

Effects: liainc - Binding to the Unconscious


At the level: 2-prof - Deep level
Deep and non explicit structures, active objects of the unconscious.

Description level: 6-inf - Active infrastructure (archetypes, dialectics)


* fin - Final element gives the clue.
A detail at the end reveals the real meaning of haiku.

Effects: reinter - Reworking at the end.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 2-strs - Organization, surface structures


* avis - Opinion given by the author.
The author tells his/her views or an explanation. The speech is not neutral at the first level of reading/writing. This is not a haiku where the author explains to the reader what he or she should understand, usually completed (structural element 'clos') and of no interest. Here, the author gives an indication that is part of the elements of the discourse in addition to the others and that is not a redundancy (redundancy, precision, explanation).

It gives a view on one of the elements of the situation.

Effects: liavec - Binding to the reader's experience.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 3-aut - Author's role


* auteur - Presence of the author.
Presence of the author in the haiku, the author stages himself but does not necessarily speak about him.

Effects: liavec - Binding to the reader's experience.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 3-aut - Author's role


* yugen - Yugen.
Yugen is a concept of Japanese aesthetics that can be expressed as deep, mysterious, dark, troubled.... In criticism of Japanese poetry, he expresses a subtle depth of things that are vaguely evoked in the poem.

Effects: liainc - Binding to the Unconscious


At the level: 2-prof - Deep level
Deep and non explicit structures, active objects of the unconscious.

Description level: 5-strp - Deep structure (schemas, patterns, cultural, associations, similarities)

Archetypes and dialectics

* A_ChoseActiveEnfouie - Hidden active things

Toute chose non nommée enfouie dans des profondeurs, qui serait active et produirait des effets perceptibles. Concept de l'Inconscient.
A différencier de la Chose Cachée, qui n'a pas d'activité au niveau profond.

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