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Analysis of the Haiku structure

unknotting
the phone cord
mother’s day

démêlant
le fil du téléphone
fête des mères


Debbi Antebi, UK
cco 2018-06-1

Commentaire.

Haïku efficace. Un discours très court, minimaliste mais au contenu non-dit très lourd. Une merveille d'ellipse. A remarquer qu'il ne produit son effet qu'à l'extrême fin. Ce n'est pas à proprement parlé un haïku psychologique mais il s'en rapproche. Il y a de la matière dans ce discours. Il faut en retenir que l'effet est produit par la juxtaposition des éléments essentiels et minimaux, juste nécessaires et laisser faire le lecteur. La puissance de ce type d'écriture est dans la retenue de l'auteure et dans le rôle actif qu'elle donne aux lecteurs.

Keywords

phone family mother Mother_Day

Structure of this haiku.

Used techniques :


* absence - The main element is not explicit.
The haiku is organized around an element voluntarily not explicitly quoted to which each image refers. The interest is to save the space that would be used by naming the element while having the effect it produces.

The haiku can appear as a vault from which the scaffolding has been removed. If the haiku is well composed, the main element is absent but everything refers to it.

This technique delays storage in memory because the reader must complete the discourse with the unnamed element so that the haiku is unambiguously understandable. It then acquires a higher memory weight.

Effects: reinter - Reworking at the end.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 2-trait - Style,subject handling


* ellipse - Ellipsis.
Ellipsis: Only the minimum is said but the whole situation can be reconstruct by the reader.
This is also the case when only a part of the discourse is present. The remaining part can be guessed by the reader.

A different technique from allusion, because here the reader has to guess what is not said. The unspoken part is not necessarily part of a context shared by author and reader but must only be deduced from the discourse.

Effects: reinter - Reworking at the end.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 2-strs - Organization, surface structures


* atmosphere - Atmosphere.
Something emerges from all the elements that constitute haiku: a climate, an atmosphere. The author does not state this explicitly. It is the reader who reconstructs it from his or her own experience.

This is especially true in three-segment haiku, also called "grocery list". But this effect can also be achieved in other ways.

The mention of feelings related to the weather and taste adds a multisensory dimension to the atmosphere created.

The atmosphere is mostly characterized by slow or motionless time.

Effects: liasen - Binding with sensorial feelings.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 3-suj - Subject, content


* fin - Final element gives the clue.
A detail at the end reveals the real meaning of haiku.

Effects: reinter - Reworking at the end.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 2-strs - Organization, surface structures


* feuilleté - Multilevel discourse, layered haiku. (foliated)
Haikus with two (or more) reading levels. A first objective level referring to a situation, another underlying level saying something else. The Chinese are fond of this type of discourse with many levels.

These various levels may be conscious or unconscious.

We find a little bit of this technique consciously applied in the weather haiku. The weather element can be understood as an mention to the weather and as the element that creates the atmosphere of haiku.

The two levels of discourse are conscious and disjointed and well visible in haiku tanka, of which they form the two parts. However, they overlap in the layered haiku.

Surface : x---------------------------x
======
Depth: x----------------------------x
(x------------------------x )

- Two parallel speeches with sharing semes.
- Horizontal caesura/break (=)
- The author says something on the superficial level and something else on the deep level. These two discourses are linked by a sharing of semes.
possibly several different deep discourses
- Deep discourse: parallel - structural element: concordance
- Deep discourse: independent - structural element: discordance
- structural element: foliated
- the "foliated" structural element is always an explicit construction of the author.
- the foliated often leads to the concordance between surface and deep discourse. The deep discourse is then another aspect of the surface discourse.

Effects: reinter - Reworking at the end.


At the level: 1-surf - Surface level
Discourse, surface structures, content, subject, style.

Description level: 2-trait - Style,subject handling

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